Sex-less couples lead condom makers to develop new products

Sometimes I don’t get Japan at all. And it’s my own country.

So-called “sexless” relationships are a big problem here. There are marriages up and down the land where no fucking is happening between man and wife. And it’s not just the middle-aged. Even the youngsters aren’t up to as much as they should be.

This is bad news for condom makers. One contraception manufacturer has said that its sales of condoms is just 60% of what it was 30 years ago. Personally, though, knowing a lot of chums, I reckon it’s the local penchant for not using a condom and ending it all with a glorious bukkake shot to the face. Be careful, STDs are rife here!

Either way, with such uncertain business prospects, local condom companies have to be more enterprising. That’s what Fuji Latex Co., Ltd. has been up to! They have started up a whole new section of products, making chilled pillows!

With the humid summer — made even worse by the need to save electricity in the wake of Fukushima et al — people have been scrambling to get their hands on this pillow product it seems!

I’d personally prefer if Fuji Latex and its condom cohorts instead took the streets to encourage people and remind them about the joys of sex. I mean, just look around you! There are hot girls everywhere you turn. I know how I’d like to cool down..but I’d also like to turn up the heat first!

What can ladies do to persuade their hard-working man to do the business for them? Well, I read a recent survey of 500 wives in their forties. Only 30% had had sex in a month. Their tips to keep the sensual sparks active included to change positions each time, to have baths together, and even to watch porno.

Hey, if you’re really stuck for someone to fill those shoes…just come round to my house, ladies!