Sex toys in rural Japan mistaken for roadside bomb

Sometimes, like a knight errant, you come across strange and exciting things in the wild. Like a Tenga masturbation toy washed up on a beach. Like porn magazines piled up with household newspapers on garbage collection day — or even dumped in a public park. Or panties that have blown away in a typhoon.

But what about if you found a silver attaché case by the roadside? Would you ignore it? Open it? Or would you assume the worst and call in the police?

Because that’s what happened on the morning of October 5 in the city of Kakegawa, Shizuoka Prefecture.

A well-meaning citizen found the silver attaché case by the roadside and called the boys in blue. They then dutifully blocked off roads in the 300-meter vicinity and sent in a bomb disposal team to examine the case. For three and a half hours, no cars could pass through while the police did their important work. The local community waited with bated breath.

Was it a bomb? No.

The case was full of sex toys.

Unfortunately, the media reports we have seen about the incident don’t detail what kind of adult goods they were, but we hope they found a good home if they were still unused. The area in which the case was found is apparently a common spot for people to illegally dump trash. Presumably, someone didn’t want to put their toys out with the regular garbage in case they were found by someone.

As Mulboyne pointed out, Shizuoka has a pedigree for such incidents.

Way back in 2008, before this blog even started, a woman thought she saw a dead body in the woods. The authorities were duly called and converged on the area, only for them to discover that it wasn’t a corpse, but a realistic sex doll.

The doll was a victim of sorts. It had been “jilted” by its former lover, a 60-year-old man who later came clean and confessed to the crime of illegal garbage disposal. Ill health meant he had to move in with his son and didn’t want to take his doll with him, but his age prevented him from dragging the once-prized doll far enough from the path for passersby not to spot it. If only he had taken it a few more meters, it would have saved all his blushes!

A similar situation occurred last year when emergency services mistakenly “rescued” a sex doll floating in a bay.